I think the best way to get all the information out in a clean way is to go through each vote and explain how I voted and why. From that point on, it's my pleasure to answer any burning questions any juror has.
Some of you know me and some of you don't. For those of you who don't know me or know me well I want to let you in on a little something. I think the best way to play this game we call Survivor is by using any means possible to survive and that is rarely done by being 1-dimensional. In this game you saw different sides of me and you probably didn't even realise it.
The Passive: That is me when I can take my pride and shove it and accept being outsmarted, played, whatever you want to call it.
Example #1: The first vote when the idol was used on Daniel without my knowledge. I had the door wide open to turn my back on Jason and Mark, I had reasons to "pop" off and foam at the mouth, but I took it in a passive manner and instead made sure I was safe on both sides of my tribe. If one side couldn't come through for me anymore, I had the other.
Example #2: When we were down 6-3 I had accepted that my chances were reducing and had made up my mind to calmly leave and let the game play out as it must while seriously looking up to the fans for owning us. I stayed active and didn't give up but I also didn't go in overdrive and instead I calmly found a way to put in motion more "fencing" which is will be explained right now.
The Fence: I played 96% of this game riding the fence between 2 sides always with the mentality mentioned above. If one side failed me, I had the other. I was often THE swing vote so people needed me during a good portion of this game. Fencing is basically making sure you're safe while making sure you're instrumental. I was both for alot of this game.
Example #1: The vote where Daniel actually went home. I could go either way and I was the swing.
Example #2: The DJMykee vote
. I loved him in this game and he was awesome to work with. I had to start defining where I was heading and I felt like it was best for me not to force the tie and send Mykee home. I was once again a huge factor in deciding how this vote went.
Example #3: The imsexyniknowit vote. She was not the target but it's still the round she left. I had the option to stick with my new "hey gurl hey friend" Alexa and coast until I wasn't needed anymore and hope for a challenge win streak to finals or I could force a tie and risk purple rock. I played a good hand of poker here, I went all in and the tides shifted.
Example #4: The Alexa vote. By this time I had secured my asss back on the fence and could go with Alaina/Alexa/Hugo or with Mark/Robbie/Fusion. I was the deciding vote. Heyyyyy
Example #5: The Fusion vote. By then I had enough people willing to vote Mark and enough people willing to vote Fusion. I will explain something I did this round later when I detail each vote. I just want to highlight right now, when I was the swing of things.
Example #6: The Hugo vote. I feel like I'm a broken record. Once again I was the swing in this vote. Mark wanted Alaina out, Hugo and Alaina were willing to vote Robbie and Robbie was going to vote whoever I voted.
Example #7: The Robbie vote. By far the realllly hard one of the season, probably of the year for me. Once more I had the choice and could get Mark or Robbie out this round and my vote made the difference.
The actress: I'm not saying it was always needed or anything but sometimes I felt like it couldn't hurt, it could only help or do nothing. Did I want everyone to clue in on my game? Did I want people to know I was in such a good position for most of the game? Not one bit. Instead I thought better to make you all believe I was all over the place, always in a panic I'd be next out, just a total mess. There was a couple times I really did think I was gone but for the most part I acted it out.
Example #1: My big speech when I used my idol. I almost picked right that round but the point of that entire speech was to rattle some cages. I had no reasons to be mad at the fans for staying loyal, but I had to do something and try to shake them up. Doesn't mean it was going to work but I had to start being the one someone WANTS to sit in finals with cuz Im so helpless against the hostile fans .
Example #2: Someone told me Robbie and Fusion were really close and during the Alexa vote (The one she actually left), Robbie was active on the forum (so I assumed he has voted) but he was not active on IMDb so I knew he never read my PM to vote. How did he know the vote? I thought I was his main source. Could the rumours be true? No matter how much I like Robbie, we have a checkered past in games and he always ended up backstabbing me for Haley and Mel or something <333. I went arround and told the fans Robbie told me about the vote and I knew Mark was leaving. It confused many but I got the answer I was looking for when they all denied it. There was still the question burning in my loin, how did he know the vote without reading my PM and I have to say thats when doubt set in.
Example #3: I'm sure there's more that will resurface in my head over the course of this jury process but right now I'll end the actress "stunts" I pulled with tonight. I'm 100% honest when I say the jury passively threatening me not to take Mark made me want final 2 with him even more. Say your peace and all but let me make my moves and give me a chance to explain them. Don't sit here preaching loyalty to me and then threaten me when I honour promises I made. That part wasn't an act. The act was me acting defeated. I had people plastering all over the thread that Mark was a threat to bring to finals, I knew cuz of reasons Ill explain later that I wasnt going to take alaina most likely if I won but I wanted her to take me if she won. So I played the part of the defeated little lamb that had no chance and here I am. I could still lose, the jury doesn't have to vote on merrit, but if they did I would win no doubt in my mind.
The Human: I'm not made of stone, who knew? I am human and I am a girl with emotions and feelings. I'm no saint, Ive been mean to people but it doesn't mean my feelings cant be hurt.
Example #1: Before this game I don't think me and Neil had any issues. Now we're in a feud and we both dislike each other very much. The real and human side of me made it really hard to shut up and not comment back/fight with him. I guess my point with this is that he had ill feelings towards me even before this game and that came out in his attacks. That hurt cuz like I said, I thought we were cool and liked him. I dint appreciate his posts after most TCs and it took away some authenticity from the game that got on my damn nerves and I just couldnt shut up. Im not going to take him off ignore or anything, but Im still sorry to all the players who had to put up with the nonesense fighting on the thread.
Example #2: Voting Robbie out. It was really hard. I did it so I take whatever consequence comes from it but this is the most Ive felt in this game. My stomach was in knots, I had no guts to tell him, I even ran away before the vote was posted, just totally not a shinning Alrmw29 moment. The move was made stratigically and but my management of it was cowardly and I can admit that. Robbie, Im really sorry I lied and couldnt even warn you or tell you. I wouldnt be unhappy to sit with you in the finals, its really not about that. We're just like the Leviathan at Canada's Wonderland and we go through roller coaster rides. I hope the ride continues and we once again find a way to make amends after this game ends.
This is so long already and I still have to go through each vote. *Is sorry for the long novel*
I just feel like I was so quiet about my game and just vocal about nonesense to try and trick people into thinking I was useless, now it's pouring all out of my little heart.
Before I tell you the vote, gotta touch on one last thing. The very first person to approach me for a finals deal was Mark. You can all hate me for it but thats just how the damn cookie crumbles. I had no idea who was on this cast but I'll explain something to you guys. When you've played the games a certain amount of times, you start reaching for different records, milstones, etc. When I saw Jason and Mark back from retirement and on my tribe, I dont care how predictable it was, making final 3 in back 2 back seasons (of us 3 being in the cast) would be making history. So bravo Neil you did call it but I wasnt just going to say heyyyy gurl, your right in front of everyone. Im not dumb and I think I did well hiding it as best as I could. Now thats part of the mystery solved when all the fans ask why I lied about wanting Mark out. Was it really smart for me to make it more obvious than Neil and others were already making it?
Robbie did approach me for a final 2 deal but it was after the fact. If Mark and Jason were out, I 100% wanted to make finals with Robbie but I had to stick to my first word and at the same time you CANT SAY NO TO A DEAL IN SURVIVOR, COME ON.
I also did make a final 2 deal with alaina and had she taken my deal that I will explain later, I would have meant it. Im not unhappy to be here with her, but following the chain she was 4th.
Vote #1 The Favourites won so I didn't go to TC
Eliminated: Krycek9
My Involvement: 0 There was no need for me to put my nose in their business at this time and voting an inactive was expected and the right decision for them.
Vote #2 Ewww we lost and we had to attend TC
Eliminated: xsourxgumxrocksx and I voted DanielB194
My Involvement: 0 I know Jason asked me if I voted on skype after I had gone off. I assume he wanted to ask me to vote John out but it never got to it. I wouldn't have voted John out. It's not like I dislike Daniel, I actually really like him, but he wasn't active then and John was my <333
Vote #3 The Favourites won so I didn't go to TC
Eliminated: kstor3499
My Involvement: 0 There was no need for me to put my nose in their business at this time and voting an inactive was expected and the right decision for them.
Vote #4 Wow the fans are not as weak as we expected. We lost again, back to TC we go
Eliminated: EnnJaySee_84 and I voted EnnJaySee_84
My Involvement: 100% The tribe was starting to divide now cuz Jason used his idol on John and many were not happy about it. I was still assessing if Daniel was a potential threat for me but I knew who was, EnnJaySee_84. He was basically serenading everyone with the same song. He was telling me what I wanted to hear, or what he thought I wanted to hear anyways. He was telling Jason, Mark, Robbie, Me, etc etc that he was with us but not everyone was toguether so it made no sense and it became clear he was over aligning and going to be trouble. I could tell he was a potential flipper and we couldnt have that on an already weird and divided tribe. To top it all off, he's super good in challenges and the little punk misses all the challenge after the reward or shows up drunk. All in all he was a threat, he wasn't helping with the challenges and he was over aligning and we all knew it. With the loss of John, the tribe was divided so I had to pick a side. Robbie really wanted to vote Jason and they wanted to vote EnnJaySee_84. For all the reasons above I felt it was better to vote off EnnJaySee_84 and I was a swing vote that round. That was also the round Robbie used his idol. We were scared EnnJaySee_84 had one too so the plan was for Robbie to feel in danger and for him to flush his idol and to make sure no one knew EnnJaySee_84 was the real vote so that would basically flush 2 idols. I felt bad though and I kept trying to hint to Robbie that he shouldn't use the idol. I couldn't straight up tell him the vote was EnnJaySee_84 cuz what if he told EnnJaySee_84 and then EnnJaySee_84 used an idol and Jason went home? But I kept trying to tell him they were probably just saying he was the vote to try and flush the idol. He even told me he wouldn't use it so I was a little shocked when TC was posted and he had used it.
Vote #5 Double TC
Eliminated: JohanPar
My Involvement: 0 I was still minding my own business and not mingling in their tribe. I was super shocked to see this happen and that showed me cracks were possible in that group of people.
Vote #6 Double TC
Eliminated: DanielB194
My Involvement: 100% Remember how I just voted with Mark, Jason and Daniel for Neil and how I talked about fencing earlier? An example in action. I flipped back to Robbie and Mykee and knowing Spooky would love nothing more than to vote Daniel out, I took my boys (Jason and Mark) back from Daniels right little fist and voted Daniel out. He's a good friend of mine. I think me and Daniel probably have more history than me and anyone else on the Favourite tribe, but Jason wasting an idol so early to save him raised too much suspicion for me and it had to be taken care of. I accomplished a few things here, I got back in Robbie, JB and Mykee's good graces while making sure Jason and Mark didn't ditch me for Daniel. I knew I could use the John vote for some leverage with them and they wouldn't be able to stay mad at me.
Vote #7 Totally getting owned by these newbies. Back to TC we go
Eliminated: JB_is_awesome
My Involvement: 100%. This is just like skipping rope cuz here I go flipping back. This tribe is so divided and such a mess that it leaves me no choice. One side wanted Robbie or Mykee out and the other wanted Jason out. I once again weighed my options and here is how it came down to JB. Mykee was super strong in challenges and we needed him while JB missed enough of them to matter. Robbie and I were increasingly getting closer cuz it was a miracle both of us hadent voted the other out in 7 TCs if we judge on past games so I wasnt about to vote him out and my F3 with Jason and Mark wouldnt happen if I went ahead and voted Jason out would it. So after talking about it for a while we decided JB was the best option.
Vote #8 Ass whooping in progress, favourites lose again
Eliminated: DJMykee
My Involvement: 75%. I can't say 100% cuz technically I really dint want to vote Mykee. We needed him for the merge but thats just it, I had no clue if we had him for the merge. All lead to yes but he could have went rogue on the "vets" and been all "newbie" power with the fans. I had no security at this point and I did have it with Robbie, Spooky, Mark and Jason. There was nothing more to it but feeling like I was in a better position with them and I wouldn't have to worry about them lying about their votes.
I'm running out of space, to be continued.
